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Feb. 18th, 2011

Liv TeddyBear

Doped Up…

Originally published at † Beyond Heaven & Hell †. You can comment here or there.

Hello world… this is me highly doped up on I don’t even know how many meds. It feels like… Like being in a fluffly cloud. It’s nice. Wish it would last. Hope I don’t do anything stupid. XoXo.

Feb. 6th, 2011

Liv TeddyBear

Pink Pens

Originally published at † Beyond Heaven & Hell †. You can comment here or there.

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Jan. 8th, 2011

Liv TeddyBear

Chemo Week…?

Originally published at † Beyond Heaven & Hell †. You can comment here or there.

I don’t even remember -sigh-

I’ll have to look at my calendar to see what week I’m on. Surprisingly, I am feeling okay today. Nausea is all under control.  Appetite is okay.  Hubby and Cindy are both behaving (LOL) so things couldn’t be better than they are.

I was feeling a little blue last night though. Just thinking about stuff that I usually try to avoid, but something it’s just hard to keep up the perky attitude. It wasn’t too bad though. I guess sometimes these things are just unavoidable.

Hmm… nothing else to report. Weather is okay, and the family and I will be heading out soon for a movie and possibly lunch if my appetite is good and the nausea stays under control which it should.

Oh! I did download a new app on my iPhone, Hipstamatic. So hopefully while we’re out I can take some pretty cool pictures with it and post them on here. We shall see. :D

Well that’s it for now. Be posting again soon.

Jan. 1st, 2011

Liv TeddyBear

Happy New Year!

Originally published at † Beyond Heaven & Hell †. You can comment here or there.

Happy New Year 2011 by ~trustbogdan on deviantART

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Dec. 29th, 2010

lips [upside down]

Another Random Meme

Crossposted from † Beyond Heaven & Hell †.

Just a little randomness for y’all.  I don’t remember who tagged me.  But I know it was MONTHS ago -tee hee- Sorry!

What songs are you currently addicted to?

*Change in the House of Filies – Deftones
*Erotic City – Prince
*Rebel Yell – Billy Idol

If money were not a problem, where would you like to live?

Hawaii or somewhere in Europe.

YouTube a song you like. Post it here.


How long does it take you to get out of bed in the morning?

Depends on what kind of mood I’m in.  Usually, on a good day, it takes me only a few minutes. On bad days, I pretty much stay in bed all day.

Sweet or Salty?

Hehehe!  Wait, what’s the question again?  Definitely SWEET!

What’s your current fandom/obsession/addiction?

Vampire Knight! <3

Do you ever wish you were a member of the opposite sex?

Sometimes I do. Seems like men are simpler creatures than us complex women :)

What websites do you always visit when you go online?

Twitter, Facebook, LiveJournal, Tumblr, Gmail, Netflix & Hulu

Have you ever shot a gun?


What do you look forward the most in the next six weeks?

Going to Arizona for vacation… it’s only for a few days, but I have never been there, so I’m truly excited about it.

What do you do to change your mood?

I usually read a book.  Something that I have read before.  Other times I write.  Writing cures most things.

What was the last meal you ate?

RAMEN!!!! Wonton Ramen. It was quite yummy :)

What time are you usually on the computer?

Hmm… well, if I am working, usually by around 8:30 AM or so thru 5:30 PM.  But if I am not at work, I very rarely go on the computer. However, I do use my iPhone almost ALL day.

Five things you can’t live without.

Laptop (for those days when I feel like writing)
Pink Pen

The first line of a song you’re listening to right now.

“I give her all my love… that’s all I do…”

What’s something you’d like to say to someone right now?

I’d like to tell my baby girl that I LOVE HER! And that I’ll play with her tonight when I get home from work :D

What’s the last movie you watched?

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

I’m tagging everyone! <3

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Dec. 10th, 2010

Do Not Disturb

My Life Sucks…

Crossposted from † Beyond Heaven & Hell †.

Well, at least today.

Couldn’t catch a wink of sleep last night. Everything hurts so badly & even though I am so very tired & sleepy, no matter what I do I can’t get comfortable enough for even a little sleep. Today is gonna suck, I can tell. I’m already dreading having to get up to make something to eat when I get hungry. That’s if I even get hungry at all. Just the thought of having to go down those stairs make me shudder. Ahhh! I’m not gonna cry. No point in it if it’s only gonna make me feel worse. 

Dec. 9th, 2010

bad bad bear

Chemo Week 7

Crossposted from † Beyond Heaven & Hell †.

Today marks the last day of my 2nd chemo cycle.  I am so  happy to have finished 2 cycles already and still be in relative good health.  Now I  have all of next week off to recover. My blood work did not look to good this time around but that is to be expected.  It was not as bad, but I was not expecting the numbers to drop so low.


Two of my friends came to visit me while I was getting my chemo treatment.  It’s always nice to have the company.  Makes time go by much quicker, although I can’t help but feel a little bad that I always seem like I’m about to fall asleep when they are there but the meds that they give me before administering the chemo make me sooo sleepy.

Oh a better note, I can’t wait for next week. I have 3 Christmas parties to attend, on Monday, another on Tuesday and the last one on Wednesday.  Two are at work.  Hopefully I’ll have enough energy for them, but I’ll make the effort.  The third one is for my daughter’s soccer team.  That might be a tough one though, but I’m sure it will be fine.

Aside from that, nothing too exciting to report.  Did a little research on liver cancer at work during my lunch break the other day and freaked myself out a bit. Had to maintain an awkward smiling face for like two hours afterwards so that people didn’t think I was having some type mental breakdown (which I wasn’t, but it was close) and luckily, after having my mini freak out I pretty much slapped myself (almost literally :p) and that was pretty much the end of that episode.  Can’t worry right now about the what if’s because I’m just not there yet. I just gotta live in the moment, at least for now.  AND I MUST NOT GET AHEAD OF MYSELF. NO MORE RESEARCH, until I speak to my doctor first. I’ll be seeing him after the end of my next chemo cycle. I will need to schedule my PET Scan for then as well. But that’s as far as I can look into the future.

Blah. So tired now… as much as I hate to say it, I’m just gonna veg for a bit before calling it quits.

As usual, a bit thank you to all my friends, family and co-workers for their continued love and support.  LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!

Nov. 19th, 2010

Liv TeddyBear

I Want To Be Remembered…

Crossposted from † Beyond Heaven & Hell †.

“I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn’t brighten her own.” -Unknown


Nov. 16th, 2010


(no subject)


Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Nov. 9th, 2010

lips [upside down]

Chemo Week 2

Crossposted from † Beyond Heaven & Hell †.

Wow… I can’t believe week #2 of my chemo treatment has almost come and gone. I have to say that I was better prepared for this one. I have the tendency to psych myself out and then I end up feeling worse!

I tried really hard to not do that this past week and it did help a bit. I still felt like shit on Friday/Saturday/Sunday, and I was still not able to sleep right… my body feels like it’s been hit by a truck. Not that I know what that really feels like, but I’m assuming getting hit by a truck feels like that. My head has been pounding like crazy and I’m afraid people think my smiles are starting to look a little forced, which they have been for like maybe 25% of the time.

What I TOTALLY LOATHE and DESPISE is having to get poked twice a week (for blood work and for chemo)… I do not like needles. I have grown to tolerate them since I have to do this, but they are definitely not my favorite thing in the world.

I complain a lot, but I suppose, in the big scheme of things, I’m one of the lucky ones. And I thank my lucky stars that this is happening to me and not another member of my family. I have funny/quirky way of looking at things, and dealing with things, and I don’t think my family members (no offense to anyone) would be able to deal with something like this… well maybe my mom, but she is Wonder Woman, she can do anything! And I have just and AMAZING support group. From family members to friends to co-workers and my employer. Everyone has come together to make me comfortable. I couldn’t ask for a greater group of people. And though I do have my bad days, my ugly days, and my whiny days, for the most part, my support group keeps me positive.

Love, peace, and don’t forget to sign up to be my minion!

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Liv TeddyBear

February 2011




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